


Closing the Rupture (Season 15 Episode 03 Coda)

by Sally13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, Frottage, Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Post-Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Protective Dean Winchester, Season/Series 15, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22126384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sally13/pseuds/Sally13
Summary: This is a tale that is mostly canon-compliant, but it resolves the Dean/Castiel rupture after episode 3 of Season 15 in a much different way.I'm bad at summaries, but the gist is that Cas goes hunting on his own and Sam and Dean have to rescue him from a djinn.  After that, everything changes between Dean and Cas as the djinn drained all of Cas' grace.  Things are finally going Cas' way, for the most part, but something just feels...off.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 17
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel felt his phone buzz in his pocket while he quietly searched the long-abandoned power plant. He figured it was Sam, once again texting him, inquiring as to his whereabouts and well-being, so he chose to ignore it.

It had been nearly a month since that awful night when he had left the bunker, telling Dean it was time to “move on”. It didn’t hurt any less whenever he reflected on that night. Maybe he should have apologized or tried to reason with Dean instead of fleeing as he was wont to do, because the longer he stayed away from the Winchesters, the more Castiel longed for their company. His powers continued to dwindle and he was desperate for the reassurance of friendship. He longed for the easy camaraderie he had with Sam. As for Dean, he just plain longed for the exhausting, frustrating, and yet, gloriously exquisite man. However, Castiel was aware that the chasm between himself and Dean was unlikely to be traversed anytime soon--and this alone kept him away.

To distract himself, Castiel had tried fishing. He wasn’t successful at it, and it only made him miss Dean even more as he recalled it being one of Dean’s preferred leisure activities. He then discovered a potential supernatural case while reading the paper one morning near Cheyenne, Wyoming, and decided to hunt on his own. He could practically hear Dean’s voice admonishing him for not calling for help, but Castiel found that he didn’t care. He was desperate to prove to himself that he was still useful and didn’t need anyone’s help.

Two bodies had turned up in a local reservoir, but neither victim had drowned. They had both been methodically drained of their blood over an extended period of time. Castiel suspected a djinn was behind the deaths, possibly a lone vampire. Deciding that a djinn was more likely, he chose to scour abandoned buildings in the surrounding area, armed with only his angel blade. He was making his way through an abandoned power plant, dodging the many wild cats that lived within the brick building, when his phone buzzed. He suppressed his annoyance and tried to focus on the hunt, something which his fading powers were not helping. Normally he would be able to sense the presence of a djinn (or any other creature), but he couldn’t even sense the cats that were surrounding him. 

Unfortunately, the phone distracted him long enough for a creature to sneak up behind him. Castiel never saw if it was a djinn or a vampire as he was attacked from behind, everything going dark in an instant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean to the rescue!

When Castiel opened his eyes, he found himself in a large room within the power plant, staring down into Dean Winchester’s concerned face. Completely bewildered, he tried to move, only to discover that his hands and feet were bound. He was suspended from a catwalk and hanging about a foot off the ground.

Seeing that he was conscious, Dean relaxed ever-so-slightly. “Hey, Cas, just a minute, I’ll get you down,” he said. Castiel heard a noise from behind Dean and cast his gaze in that direction only to see Sam pulling a silver, blood-stained knife from the body of a dead djinn. 

“So it was a djinn,” Castiel croaked. Dean gave him a wry smile as he sawed away at the ropes holding up Cas’ arms. He freed Cas’ right arm first, then wrapped an arm around Cas’ waist while sawing at the left arm so he could lower the angel gently to the ground. Castiel was touched by the unnecessary yet tender gesture. 

Dean motioned for Cas to sit as he cut the binding holding Cas’ ankles together while Sam dragged the djinn’s body to the middle of the room and proceeded to douse it with lighter fluid. Once Cas was freed of the ropes, Dean helped him into a standing position. 

“Are you good there, Sam? I want to get him out to the car,” Dean called, not releasing Cas to stand on his own.

“Yeah, I’m good. Get out of here.”

“Come on,” Dean said quietly. He grasped one of Cas’ arms and pulled it over his shoulder. Castiel was definitely perplexed by this action, but as soon as he tried to take a step forward, he nearly collapsed in weakness. Dean was there to hold him up and help him hobble out of the building.

Wordlessly, Dean settled Cas into the passenger seat of the Impala and rounded the car to sit in the driver’s seat. Once Dean had sat down, he turned to Cas and said, “Do you have your car keys handy? Sam’s going to drive your truck back.”

Castiel could do nothing but gape at him for a few seconds. Finally finding his voice, he said, “Dean. I appreciate your help, but I don’t understand. Where are you taking me?” His voice came out as a croak once again and he found himself to be incredibly thirsty.

Dean winced at Cas’ voice and grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler in the back seat. After allowing time for Cas to take a few blissful gulps, Dean said quietly, “I’m taking you home, Cas. Now find your keys.”

Castiel realized he was too tired and uncomfortable to argue, and suddenly Sam was standing at his window, so he dug into his filthy coat pocket and pulled out the keys. He rolled down the window and handed them to Sam, who gave him a smile and a nod before walking away. Dean promptly started the car and accelerated out of the gravel lot as the first tendrils of smoke began to curl from the building.

* * *

Castiel dozed on and off during the six hour drive back to the bunker. Dean made him drink water whenever he was awake and even got him to eat a couple of protein bars, which made him a bit curious. Was he just drained from the djinn, or was he even more human now? He tried searching for his grace and with some alarm, realized that he couldn’t find it. He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but before he could fully panic, he drifted off again.

When they returned to the bunker, Cas was sound asleep and Dean didn’t have the heart to wake him. He knew Cas had been strung up for at least three days, drained of his grace and blood, and rest was critical right now. Dean pulled Baby into the bunker garage and shut her off, then rounded the front of the car to get to Cas. He managed to easily pick him up in a bridal-style carry and quietly brought the former angel to his room. Dean laid Cas on the bed that had never been slept in and looked down at the human man who looked impossibly young and vulnerable. After a few moments of staring, Dean shook himself and retrieved a blanket to cover Cas.

Castiel woke up a few hours later, feeling warm and comfortable, but a little disoriented as well. He quickly realized he was in his room at the bunker, and he felt dirty, uncomfortable, hungry, thirsty, ashamed, and mortified. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t welcome here, not after everything that had happened to Mary. Why had Dean brought him here and put him to bed? As if matters couldn’t get worse, Castiel realized there were tears streaming down his face. He tried to get out of bed so that he could flee--he was hopeful that Sam had brought his truck back to the bunker--but as soon as he stood up, he collapsed onto the floor.

Dean found Cas like that a few minutes later, hunched over on the floor, head in his hands, crying. “Cas? Hey, man, hey, it’s okay,” Dean said, rushing over to sit next to Cas. Dean tentatively reached out to touch him, to put an arm around Cas’ shoulders, but Cas jerked away.

“I shouldn’t be here!” Castiel wailed. “I have to leave. I just...I can’t stand up.”

Dean rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, fighting the urge to pull Cas into his arms. “Yeah, Cas, you should be here,” Dean said with a sigh. “I was a jerk, okay? I’m sorry. I never should have let you walk out that door.”

Castiel finally lifted his head from his hands and looked at Dean. “What?” he asked softly with a sniffle.

“I said I’m sorry, Cas. It wasn’t your fault that Mom died. I was angry, and grieving, and you were a convenient target for all of that. But I was wrong--that wasn’t on you. We should have all been keeping a closer eye on Jack.”

Castiel nodded his agreement and looked back down at himself. “Thank you for saying that, but I could have handled the situation better myself,” he said softly, now swiping away at the tears lingering on his cheeks.

“Maybe,” Dean conceded, “but I still made you walk out that door, and a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t regretted it. You almost died, Cas. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that.”

Castiel looked back up at Dean and the two shared one of their patent-pending stares. Dean looked away first and slapped his hands on his thighs, saying, “Well, Cas, do you want something to eat and drink, or a shower first?” When Cas only offered him a confused head-tilt, Dean gamely plowed on, “The djinn drained your mojo, Cas. It took your angel blade and a silver knife dipped in lamb’s blood to kill it. Unfortunately, I think you’re human now.”

With a sigh, Castiel simply nodded. It was as he feared, but maybe everything was not as bad as it seemed. “Dean? Would it be amenable to you and Sam if I stayed here for a little bit...just until I get back on my legs?”

Dean couldn’t help himself as he burst into laughter that was a bit disproportionate to the situation. When he finally calmed down, he patted Cas on the shoulder and said, “It’s get back on your feet, Cas. Feet. And you can stay here for much longer than that. I told you--this is your home. In fact, I...we would like it if you stayed for good.”

A fresh round of tears ran down Castiel’s face, but this time out of happiness instead of overwhelming internal pain. “Thank you, Dean,” he whispered. “Could you possibly help me to the shower? I can’t seem to walk.”

Dean flashed him a sad smile then slowly stood up, pulling Cas up with him by holding onto Cas’ hands. Once they were standing face-to-face, Dean pulled Cas in for a warm, tight hug into which Castiel felt himself melt. Once Dean drew back, he looked at Cas apologetically and said, “Unfortunately, the djinn snacked on you for a few days before we got to you, so you’ll be weak for a little while until you recover. I’ll help you as much as you need it.” Dean then slung an arm around Cas’ shoulders and began to slowly walk the man out of his room and down the hall to the bathroom.

As they shuffled down the hallway, a thought occurred to Castiel and he asked Dean, “How did you and Sam find me?”

“We, uh, tracked your phone. Sam was getting worried when you weren’t responding to any of his texts. When we saw you’d been in the same location for a couple of days, we got concerned.”

Castiel had the sense that Dean wasn’t being entirely truthful, but there was no malice in any falsehood he may be spinning, so he opted not to pursue the issue. Dean helped him into the bathroom and turned on the shower for him, even going so far as to retrieve clean towels for him. “I’ll grab some of my clothes for you to wear for now. I’ll bring them in once you’ve gotten into the shower,” Dean said. Castiel nodded his thanks and went about removing his filthy clothes once Dean had left the bathroom.

The trench coat was grimy and covered in splotches of blood, but Castiel was loath to part with it. He wanted to ask Dean if there was any way of laundering it to remove the stains. The suit and dress shirt he could do without--when he had previously been human, he had preferred casual clothing and found suits to be restrictive. 

It had been some time since he had had the luxury of a shower, so he thoroughly enjoyed the hot water pounding into his sore upper back. He gently washed the blood and grime from his skin, and washed his hair with some of Dean’s shampoo. When he stepped out of the shower, he found that Dean had left some black track pants and a white t-shirt along with boxer shorts. He borrowed Dean’s deodorant before dressing and slowly stumbled to the bathroom door, leaving his soiled clothes on the floor.

Dean was waiting outside the bathroom for him and Castiel found himself smiling at the man. Dean smiled back and asked if he wanted to go to the kitchen for something to eat, to which Castiel readily assented. Dean once again wrapped an arm around Cas to support him and they slowly made their way up to the kitchen.

As Dean set about making scrambled eggs and bacon, Castiel looked around the kitchen and finally asked about Sam’s whereabouts. “Oh, he’s asleep,” Dean said. Castiel was confused until he asked about the time of day, to which Dean responded, “About three in the morning.”

Castiel was back to feeling ashamed. “Dean, I am so sorry, you must be exhausted. Please, go to bed, I can take care of myself.”

Dean laughed quietly and shoveled the eggs onto a plate, which he then presented to Cas. “Don’t worry about it, man. I’m not tired, and all I would do is lay awake and worry about you. I’m fine. Now start eating while the bacon finishes.”

Castiel gave him a smile and began eating the eggs, which were the best eggs he had ever tasted. He made a content humming sound but ate slowly, which Dean had told him would be best for his stomach. Dean soon returned to the table with a plate of bacon and a large glass of water, and soon Castiel was full and sated. Dean devoured what Castiel couldn’t finish and cleaned up the dishes while the fallen angel began to nod off at the table.

“Come on, sleepyhead,” Dean said gently, helping Cas up and guiding him back down to the hall and Cas’ bedroom. Once Castiel had sat down on his bed, however, sudden panic gripped him. 

“Dean?” Castiel asked, looking up at the man who had just settled him on the bed.

“Yeah?”

“Can I stay with you?”

Dean looked like he was about to stay no, but something on Castiel’s face must have stopped him, because he simply smirked and helped Castiel back off the bed and led him to his own room. The two of them silently crawled under the covers, Dean on the left side of the bed and Castiel on the right. 

“Good night, Cas,” Dean said quietly as he turned off the bedside lamp. He settled down on his left side, facing away from Cas, and jerked a little when Cas slid up behind him. 

Castiel wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist and fully spooned him, nuzzling his nose into the back of Dean’s neck. “Good night, Dean,” he whispered.

Dean had initially stiffened and was tempted to shake Cas off, but when he remembered everything that Cas had been through and just how much he was personally enjoying the physical contact, he allowed himself to relax and drift into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life at the bunker for human Cas.

The next few weeks heralded in a new routine for the occupants of the bunker, and for once it didn’t completely revolve around hunting. Sam stayed focused on research and assisting other hunters by phone while Dean focused on helping Castiel adjust to humanity.

Castiel had tried to sleep in his bed after spending the first night with Dean, but he was plagued with a horrible nightmare. He was back in that power plant, suspended from the catwalk, and alone with the djinn. He kept calling out for Dean but there was no sign of him. Back in the bunker, Dean heard Cas crying out for him and ran to wake him. Dean sat up with Cas for the rest of the night, and after that, Cas moved into Dean’s room, no questions or comments necessary. Cas continued to have the nightmare almost nightly, and occasionally he would see other victims hanging from the catwalk next to him. Dean was always there to wake him up and hold him, forcing the mental images from his mind.

Dean also took care of laundering Castiel’s trench coat, much to Castiel’s delight. He insisted on taking the former angel shopping and Castiel picked a wardrobe that closely matched that of Sam and Dean. Every once in awhile, Castiel would steal one of Dean’s shirts because of the comfort that enveloped him when he wore it. Neither Sam or Dean ever commented, but Sam would often have a smirk on his face after noticing.

Two weeks after Castiel’s arrival, he was finally feeling as though he had enough energy and told Dean that he wanted to learn how to hunt as a human. Dean was hesitant at first, and insisted that Cas needed to proceed slowly. After a couple more days of stasis, Castiel was able to convince Dean to start sparring with him. Castiel grew stronger with each session and was becoming adept at knocking Dean on his rear.

Castiel found himself to be...content. He just couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was off, or different. Anytime he felt like this, he tried to convince himself it was a side effect of falling. When he mentioned it to Sam one day, Sam agreed with him whole-heartedly. Castiel was also noticing that things with Dean felt different--and when he mentioned that to Sam, the hunter had smirked and simply said, “Gee, I bet,” but refused to expound upon that statement.

It wasn’t until Dean was going through weapons training with him in the gun range that he began to suspect what was happening. Castiel knew how to shoot a gun--just because he hadn’t had the need to as an angel didn’t mean he was ignorant. He reminded Dean of this but the hunter pointed out that things would probably feel different as a human. Castiel simply shrugged it off, thinking that there would be no harm in receiving extra hunter training. He found himself seriously reconsidering that thought when he had Dean’s body wrapped around him, helping him slide into the Weaver stance. While it was true he and Dean had cuddled at night, that was easily written off as platonic comfort. Feeling Dean’s breath ghosting along his ear coupled with the press of Dean’s hips along his posterior was something else completely. Even after Castiel had managed to take a couple of shots--both of which passed through the target’s bullseye perfectly--Dean was in no rush to move away from him.

Castiel finally turned his head to look at Dean as best as he could and was shocked by what he saw in the man’s face. Dean’s eyes were wide and shining with something Castiel was too afraid to name, and Dean’s characteristic smirk had been replaced with a soft, gentle smile. He was looking at Castiel with what looked like love--but before they could explore this new development, Sam had burst into the gun range to ask about dinner.

These instances continued for about another week, with Dean violating Castiel’s personal space but nothing coming of it. Castiel was starting to feel like a bundle of nerves around Dean. He continued sharing a bed with the man because no matter how nervous he may be, the nightmares were far worse (and so far, unrelenting).

Finally one day Sam announced he was going to take a look at a potential case. It was in Wichita, a mere 3 hours away, and it looked like a simple salt ‘n burn. Sam insisted that Dean and Castiel stay at the bunker and work on training. As soon as Sam had left, Dean turned to Castiel with a smile and said, “Hey, Cas, what would you say to dinner tonight?”

Castiel tilted his head, confused. “Do we not have dinner every night?”

Dean laughed and inexplicably blushed. “Yeah, we do. I meant--do you want to have a special dinner with me? Like...a date?”

Oh. Ohhhhh. Castiel felt himself blush as well and looked away, before answering shyly, “Yes, Dean, I would like that very much.”

“Great!” Dean said, clapping his hands together, then looking mildly embarrassed for having done so. “I’m going to cook, so I’ll ask you to stay out of the kitchen until I call you...you know, it’s gonna be a special surprise.”

“Of course, Dean. I’ll just be in our room when you’re ready.”

Castiel returned to the room he shared with Dean and tried to make sense of the emotions swirling within him. He was excited and nervous, likely because he wanted to take this next step with Dean. He had wanted to take this next step for years, if he was being honest. But as he opened one of his drawers to find a nicer shirt to wear, he couldn’t help feeling like something was off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's going on?!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to seem like an abrupt switch, and perhaps like you missed something. You didn't. It was deliberate, and I promise, it will all make sense (but you smarties probably figured it out anyway!).

“Still no word from Cas, huh?” Dean asked, feigning nonchalance. Sam was sitting at the War Room table, fiddling with his phone and looking concerned. 

“No,” Sam said. He leveled a look at Dean that bespoke his concern, which prompted Dean to sit down next to him.

“What’s going on?” Dean asked.

“His cell signal had been pretty steady for the past two days--he wasn’t moving, like, at all. But now it’s just gone...as in he either shut his phone off or the battery died.”

Dean looked pensive for a moment, desperately trying to stem the flow of images pouring into his mind at Sam’s words. He couldn’t seem to stop imagining Cas, dead, his eyes burned out, lying on the shore of a lake behind a cottage in the Pacific Northwest. 

“I know you told me not to track his phone,” Sam continued, apologetically, “but I was getting worried. Especially when I discovered that he’s at an abandoned power plant in Cheyenne.”

Dean mentally hemmed and hawed for a moment, but knew that there was no other alternative. They were going to find Cas, and he was hoping to someone (certainly not Chuck) that the angel was still alive when they got to him. Dean knew that if anything had happened to Cas, it was all his fault for letting him leave.

“All right, let’s pack up and be on the road in ten minutes,” Dean said, standing. “I don’t know what we’ll be up against, so...pack everything.”

“Should I have Eileen come along?” Sam asked. Ever since Sam had managed to give Eileen a body to go with her soul, she had been staying at the bunker. Dean wasn’t ignorant to the blossoming relationship between the two, and he really didn’t mind it, either. Eileen was a fantastic woman who could keep Sam on his toes, and a hell of a hunter. Dean simply nodded before running off to his room to pack.

As the Impala ate up the miles to Cheyenne, Dean had become increasingly tense and worried. About halfway there, Sam had finally made Dean tell him what happened the night Cas left. It was a testament to Dean’s concern that the man didn’t balk or refuse to talk, and the truth came tumbling out. Eileen had leaned forward from the back seat to read Dean’s lips as best as she could, and Sam tried out some of his newly learned sign language when she didn’t quite catch something. Dean had finally concluded that anything Cas was suffering was his fault, and neither Sam nor Eileen had the energy to argue.

About an hour outside of Cheyenne, Sam discovered something on his phone while looking through the local news. Two bodies had been found in a reservoir, and two additional bodies had been found in Holliday Park--all four had been completely exsanguinated. “What do you think?” Sam said to Dean and Eileen. “Djinn, or vampire?”

“Djinn,” Dean and Eileen replied simultaneously. Dean found himself incredibly relieved that they had thought to bring a jar of lamb’s blood. He wasn’t entirely sure how Cas had gotten tangled up with a djinn, and furthermore, how Cas wasn’t able to take down said djinn, but that was a problem for another day.

Dean had managed to turn a six hour drive into a five and a half hour one by the time they reached the power plant. Sam and Eileen armed themselves with silver knives dipped in lamb’s blood while Dean handled an angel blade. There was no spoken agreement, but it seemed understood that regardless of how they found Cas, it was Dean who would be at the angel’s side.

The three carefully entered the building and stayed close to one another, clearing the entryway and a few small offices. When they had made their way to the largest room, Dean dropped all pretense of hunting and ran to Castiel’s limp form, dangling from a catwalk. “No! Cas!” he yelled, reaching up to grasp the angel’s hand. Before he could do so, he was tackled from the side.

“Dean!” Sam yelled. Dean hit the ground with a thud but quickly rolled to his back just in time for the djinn to press his full weight onto Dean’s legs. Before Dean could really assess what was happening, or notice the djinn’s features, Sam had pulled the monster up and off of him, stabbing him with a silver knife.

Assuming the djinn was dead, Dean muttered a thank you to Sam before clambering up and running over to Cas again. He managed to grasp Cas’ hand, which was cold to the touch. Dean ran his eyes over the angel, who was covered in grime, dirt, and blood. His wrists were bound to the catwalk above his head and his ankles were tied together. Most alarming of all was the rig Dean still saw in his nightmares--the IV lines pumping blood out of Cas.

Dean heard sounds of a struggle to his left but tuned them out--he knew Sammy and Eileen had this. He felt Cas’ left wrist for a pulse, unsure if an angel would even have a pulse, while he started to gently remove one of the IV lines. He almost danced when he felt a faint pulse under his fingertips. “Hold on, Cas, I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“Dean! Your angel blade!” Eileen suddenly yelled. Dean jerked his eyes away from Cas to see that Sam was fighting the djinn, who had apparently been unfazed by the silver blade. Dean ran over to where he’d dropped the blade and slid it across the floor to Eileen, who quickly plunged it into the djinn’s neck. 

Dean ran back to Cas and kept removing the IV lines. By the time he was done, Eileen had joined him while Sam was dragging the djinn out of the room. Dean turned to Eileen while he pulled a knife out of his pocket. “Help me,” he said to her, gesturing to Cas’ bindings.

Eileen cut the rope around Cas’ ankles while Dean sawed away at the wrist bindings. Cas fell gently into Dean’s arms once he was freed. His pulse was slightly stronger, but he looked emaciated and weak. “Come on, Cas, wake up,” Dean plead with him. Dean sank to the floor, cradling Cas in his lap. “Come on, buddy, I need you to wake up. I need you to yell at me some more for being an asshole. Come on.”

Sam returned in a couple of minutes, having dragged the djinn outside. Eileen was standing over Dean and Cas, feeling incredibly helpless. “Is he alive?” Sam asked quietly.

“I think so,” Dean choked out, voice laden with emotion. “But he won’t wake up, Sam. Why won’t he wake up? The djinn is dead, right?”

“Yeah, Dean. I lit him up.”

Sam and Eileen exchanged a wordless (and sign-less) conversation, their eyes darting to Dean, who was now rocking Cas and constantly begging him to wake up. Sam then recalled what had happened when Charlie had been taken by a djinn, and what it took to wake her up. 

“Dean! Let’s get him back to the bunker! We have African Dream Root there!”

Dean looked up, hope filling his eyes. “I’ll drink it and go in after him,” he said quietly. Sam nodded excitedly. At Eileen’s questioning look, Sam told her he would explain everything in the car.

Holding Cas with one arm, Dean rummaged through his pockets and produced the keys to Baby. “You’re driving,” he said, holding them out to Sam. “Get us home quickly but don’t hurt Baby.” If Sam was surprised, he hid it well. 

“Do you want help with Cas?” Sam asked.

Dean shook his head and adjusted his arms so that he had one arm under Cas’ back and the other under his knees, then stood slowly until he could balance with the added weight. He carried Cas to the Impala and let Sam open the back door for him, where he gingerly laid the angel down on the back seat. He carefully climbed in after, lifting Cas’ head and placing it down on his lap.

Sam and Eileen exchanged another look, one that indicated that Eileen was finally starting to understand things between Dean and Cas. The two of them climbed into the front seat so Sam could start the car and pull out of the parking lot, trying to drive fast but safely at the same time. He needn’t have worried. Any time he looked in the rear view mirror, Dean’s gaze was locked on Cas’ face as he slowly stroked the angel’s dark, thick hair.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rescuing Cas, Redux

Sam insisted that they bring Cas into the bunker’s infirmary, as it would be easiest to have Dean lie down in a bed next to him. They weren’t sure if Cas would have health problems once he finally awoke, and the infirmary was well-stocked. Dean was too tired and overwrought to argue.

Eileen opened doors for Dean and lead him into the infirmary while Sam ran to one of the stockrooms for the African Dream Root. Within fifteen minutes, Cas was settled on one of the beds and Sam was stirring some of his hair into a mug. Dean looked less worried now that he could actively do something, and he raised the mug in a mock toast after taking it from Sam. He downed the mixture in two gulps and settled back on his own bed next to Cas.

Dean’s eyes fluttered open and he was still lying on a bed in the infirmary, but there was no sign of Cas, Sam, or Eileen. He planted his feet on the floor and hauled himself out of bed, trying to decide where to go. He found himself wandering into the kitchen where he could see the remnants of a dinner for two. Plates, forks, and knives were piled up in the kitchen sink, and Dean could smell the lingering odors of steak and potatoes. That in itself was curious, because as far as he knew, he was the only bunker occupant who could cook a steak (at least, one that wasn’t charred or still mooing). He felt a pang in his chest that maybe he’d cooked it for Cas and then left so Cas could have a romantic dinner with someone, because there was no mistaking the set-up in the kitchen--an empty bottle of wine was on the table and taper candles were flickering, the only other light in addition to the single dim bulb over the sink.

Dean was snapped out of his depressing thoughts by music that came from the direction of the library. As he cautiously made his way to the War Room, he recognized the song. It was Dean Martin’s “Return to Me,” which the Men of Letters actually had on vinyl. Though the song was a bit old for Dean's taste, there was something haunting about it that had struck a chord with Dean and inevitably reminded him of Cas. Once again, he felt a pang in his heart at the thought of Cas having a romantic evening with someone else.

He climbed the steps from the War Room to the Library and froze in his tracks for a few seconds. After realizing he was exposed, he darted back down the stairs and ducked behind the cement column, poking his head around it to watch the scene unfolding in the library. Almost all of the tables had been pushed to one side of the room to create a make-shift dance floor. Cas was held in another’s arms as that individual confidently twirled him in time to the music. What was shocking about the entire scene was that Dean was watching himself dance with Cas.

Djinn Dean had an arm around Cas’ waist and the fingers of his right hand interlaced with Cas’ fingers. Cas had his free hand on Djinn Dean’s shoulder and a look on his face of wonder and joy. Dean felt his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach. How the hell was he going to convince Cas to wake up and leave this dream world? Clearly Cas was happy, and clearly, Dean wasn’t a total dick here.

Dean watched the two of them dance while the song played on, but he had to leave as soon as he saw Djinn Dean stop and tip Cas’ face up towards his, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. Dean hastily made his way back to the kitchen, trying to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. He knew that most people would see this is a golden opportunity, but all he could see was that he fell far short of Djinn Dean and Cas’ expectations for him. It would never work out between them.

Dean stood in the kitchen, desperately trying to think of a way to distract his dream self so he could get Cas alone. He eyed the plates stacked in the sink and an idea took form. He picked one up and loudly shook the silverware off, then hurled the plate to the cement floor. He quickly repeated his actions with the second plate. He could hear Djinn Dean yell, “What in the world?” and had to stifle a laugh. For shit’s sake, his dream self didn’t even swear. He ran out of the kitchen down a different hallway and circled back around to the library. If there was anything he knew about himself, it was that Djinn Dean would conclude someone else was in the bunker and would start a thorough search.

Dean came into the library and Cas had his back to him. Cas had his arms wrapped around himself in what Dean could only assume was happiness. He felt guilty for what he was about to do, but he didn’t have a choice. “Cas?” he called out gently.

Cas turned around and immediately narrowed his gaze. Dean was dressed quite differently from Djinn Dean, who had apparently put on new jeans and a crisp green Henley for the occasion. This Dean was wearing ripped and filthy jeans, a black tee shirt, and a red plaid overshirt. “Dean? Did you change your clothes? What’s going on?”

Just then Djinn Dean called out from the kitchen, “Cas, someone’s in the bunker! I’m going to check it out, stay put!”

Cas’ eyes widened and he gaped at Dean. Dean held his hands up in supplication and cautiously approached Cas. “Cas, this is all a dream. You have to wake up.”

“What are you talking about?” Cas asked warily.

“You were captured by a djinn in Cheyenne. We came and rescued you, and killed the djinn, but you won’t wake up. I took some African Dream Root to come get you. I need you to wake up, Cas.”

“Dean, I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re clearly confused. You and Sam rescued me from a djinn but I woke up. I’ve been here ever since.”

Dean felt himself growing desperate. “Cas, please, think about it. You just heard me call from the kitchen when I’m standing right here. Have things felt totally normal since you got back?”

Cas looked down at the ground, brow furrowed. He shook his head no.

Dean sighed in relief. “Cas, please, you have to wake up. I know you don’t want to, I know that everything here is so much nicer and that you’re happy. But it’s not real--none of this is, except me. Cas...we can have this. If you want. But you have to wake up. Please.”

Cas looked up at him. “We can have a romantic relationship?” he asked dubiously.

“Yes,” Dean whispered.

“But Dean, there is so much wrong between us,” Cas said sadly.

“I know,” Dean said quickly. “But we can fix it--all of it. You just have to wake up and stay.” Cas leveled him with a steady gaze and then nodded.

Dean’s eyes flew open and he was staring at the infirmary ceiling.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, angst, and more angst.

Dean turned on his side to face Cas, whose eyes had finally opened. Sam and Eileen rushed to Cas’ side and Sam began to inquire after how Cas was feeling. Dean didn’t hear the questions, he could only stare at the side of Cas’ face, willing the angel to look at him. Dean needed to know that they would be okay. Though he doubted his ability to be everything Cas needed or wanted, he had told the truth back in the Djinn Dream. He was willing to try.

Without a word, Cas rolled onto his side to face away from Dean. He didn’t answer any of Sam’s questions. Dean felt disappointed, but he still tentatively called out Cas’ name. Unsurprisingly, there was no response. Sam finally turned to Dean and asked him if he was all right. Dean simply nodded and pulled himself out of the bed, shuffling off to the shower room.

Dean had no idea how long he was in the shower, but his fingers were starting to prune before he realized he had been lost in thought. He kept replaying the slow dance and kiss in his head, trying to figure out how he could give that to Cas if the angel was going to shut him out.

Dean threw on some clothes and finally looked at the time. It was the middle of the night and even though he hadn’t slept long, he felt rested. He made his way to the kitchen, intent on fixing something to eat, and was mildly surprised to find Sam there. Sam only gave him a look of pity and concern before starting to talk while Dean fried up some bacon.

“So, we’re pretty sure Cas is human now. We had to use an angel blade to kill the djinn because it had consumed Cas’ grace. It’s actually a lucky thing, because Cas was able to last long enough for us to get to him. Cas didn’t seem too surprised by this, but I really wouldn’t know, since he won’t talk to me. Dean, what did you see in there? How...good was it?”

Without turning around, Dean said dully, “He had everything he wanted. Nothing here will ever be good enough.”

“Dean. Please tell me you aren’t talking about yourself?”

Dean startled at the statement and turned his head away from the bacon, giving Sam a shocked stare. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he spat. So, apparently he was going with anger. Yep, that was healthy.

“Dean, the reason why he turned away from you is because he’s ashamed. I could see it all over his face and in his body language. Something must have happened between you two within his dream.”

Dean turned back to the stove and turned off the burner. “I’m not having this conversation,” he said shortly. “What happened in Djinn Land stays in Djinn Land. It’s up to Cas if he wants to tell you.”

Dean plated his bacon and took a seat across from Sam, who was sadly shaking his head. “Just give him some time, Dean. The guy just woke up from a Djinn dream, he’s weak and newly human. He’ll come around.” Sam stood up and patted Dean’s shoulder as he left the kitchen.

After eating and cleaning up, Dean poked his head back into the infirmary, but there was no sign of Cas. He panicked briefly before realizing that Cas was probably in his room, which was much more comfortable. He ran down to the bedrooms to double-check and sure enough, Cas’ door was closed. He retreated to his own room and laid down on his bed, falling into a light sleep shortly thereafter.

* * *  
Throughout the next day, Dean, Sam, and Eileen all moved around each other, not acknowledging the elephant--or rather, former angel--in the bunker. Sam checked on Cas a couple of times, offering him food or water, only to be rebuffed both times. When it was finally nearing 4 PM, Sam told Dean it was up to him to get Cas to eat.

Dean made his world famous burgers, which he doubted Cas could resist. Sure enough, as he was putting the patties on buns he’d found in the freezer and thawed, Cas shuffled into the kitchen. He looked tired and grumpy but otherwise in good condition. Not wanting to jinx anything, Dean quietly put a plate on the table where Cas had sat and provided a bottle of ketchup.

Sam and Eileen wandered into the kitchen just as Dean was pouring a glass of water for Cas and served themselves. Sam nodded to Cas who merely grunted in reply, but did manage to give a small smile to Eileen. Cas had only met Eileen the previous night but he seemed to be making an effort with her.

Dean ate his burger standing, worried that being too close to Cas would force the man back to his room. Cas never looked once at Dean, something that was distressing in itself. Dean sincerely hoped it was only because of embarrassment and not something more.

After Cas had eaten everything on his plate and consumed two glasses of water, he brought his plate to the sink and turned towards where Dean was standing. “Thank you for dinner, Dean. It was very good,” he mumbled, staring at the floor, before shuffling out of the room.

Sam sighed. “Well, it’s a start, right?” he said, trying to inject optimism into his tone. From the look on Eileen’s face, she thought he was as nuts as Dean did.

After cleaning up the dishes and forcing himself to watch a movie that he barely attended to, Dean decided he was fed up with Cas’ behavior. They needed to talk. It was nearly 9:00 but he figured Cas would still be awake. He went to Cas’ door and knocked on it, only to have Cas respond, “Go away, Sam.”

“It’s not Sam, Cas. Can I come in?” 

Dean was met with silence for a moment, but then the door opened and Cas stood there, staring at the ground again. “What is it, Dean?” he asked sullenly.

“I asked if I could come in,” Dean said evenly, trying to hold back his temper, because seriously, what the fuck? If there was anything Cas excelled at, it was maintaining eye contact with Dean.

Cas took a step back and allowed Dean to enter the room, closing the door behind him. Cas stayed glued to the spot, nervously fiddling with his hands, staring at the floor.

“Cas, will you look at me?” Dean spat. Cas’ head finally shot up and the look on his face was unsettling. His eyes were red and radiating fear. “Cas, what’s going on?” Dean asked, his voice softening upon seeing him.

“Nothing.”

“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit on that. Come on, talk to me.”

Cas looked down at the ground once again, saying defiantly, “Nothing is wrong, Dean. I wish to be left alone while I adjust.”

“Cas, you don’t have to do this alone,” Dean said gently.

“I know I don’t. But it’s better if I do. I shouldn’t rely on other people,” Cas snapped.

“What? Cas, it’s okay to rely on other people. I rely on you and Sammy all of the time.”

“Whatever.”

“Cas. What is really going on here? Are you embarrassed because of the Djinn dream?” Dean finally asked. He had been hoping to avoid this topic but decided it might be necessary to get past whatever issue Cas was having.

Cas visibly flinched and took a step away from Dean. “I don’t want to talk about that.” 

“Cas, it’s okay. There’s no reason to be embarrassed,” Dean started, but trailed off when Cas finally looked at him again, this time with an expression of fierce determination.

“I’m not embarrassed, Dean. What you saw was my worst nightmare.”

Dean suddenly felt light-headed and a cold sweat broke out over his entire body. “What?” he asked hoarsely.

“Yes,” Cas said. “It was what you call a ‘blue djinn’--a bastardized offshoot. It made me see what I feared the most.”

“And what you feared the most was...a relationship with me,” Dean said, struggling to keep his raw emotion out of his voice.

Cas looked at the ground once more but said with a bit of snark, “Clearly.”

Dean stood still for what seemed like several minutes but was probably no more than thirty seconds before saying, “Uh, well then, I guess I’ll just let you be,” and strode towards the door.

“Thank you,” Cas said curtly as he closed the door with snap behind Dean.

Dean made his way back to his own room and shut the door quietly, mind reeling. He couldn’t believe how utterly stupid he had been to believe that Cas would ever want to be romantically involved with a detestable failure such as himself. The only good thing he had done was to rescue Cas from the djinn. A more logical part of his brain pointed out that Cas hadn’t had a blue handprint on his arm, as was common with blue djinn, but Dean immediately concluded that Cas’ grace must have erased it before it was drained. 

Dean found himself sitting on his bed, head in his hands, and let a few silent tears fall. He wasn’t sure how he was going to face Cas ever again, knowing that he was the man’s worst nightmare. In fact, it was his fault that Cas was a “man” at all. If he had never met Dean, never pulled Dean’s soul out of Hell, Cas could have gone on being an angel, content to follow rules and not being shoved into harm’s way.

After about ten minutes of thinking, Dean concluded that he couldn’t actually face Cas again. He wasn’t about to kick him out of the bunker, seeing as though Dean still felt guilty for doing that the first time Cas was human. However, Dean could always leave the bunker, and right now, that seemed like a great idea.

Dean waited until he knew Sam and Eileen had gone to bed for the night, then pulled out every duffel bag he could find. He quickly and quietly packed as much as he could--weapons, clothes, the few photographs and personal items that he had. He filled three duffels and was only leaving behind a couple of weapons and a few shirts. He gathered up the bags, shut off the light, and silently made his way to the garage. Once he had the Impala packed, he took out his cell phone and shut it off. With any luck, he would be far, far away before anyone noticed he was gone. With a fresh round of tears on his face, Dean started up the engine and pulled out of the garage without looking back.

* * *  
Sam was up early and dressed to head out for his morning run. He happened to pass by Dean’s room and wasn’t terribly surprised to see the door open. He figured Dean was probably in the kitchen, making coffee and/or breakfast to tempt Cas. He decided he would stop in and say good morning before heading outside.

He stopped in the kitchen but there was no sign of Dean, so he started to wander around the bunker, checking in the usual places. He finally circled back to Dean’s room and looked inside. He suddenly heard blood rushing in his ears as he staggered into Dean’s stripped down room. 

The weapons that Dean had hung on the wall were gone--all that remained was his Purgatory blade. His angel blade was sitting on an otherwise empty desk. Sam strode over to the closet and discovered only two shirts remained--and when he saw which ones, he suddenly began to understand. There was a dark blue t-shirt and a blue plaid shirt which Dean tended to wear whenever Cas was gone for long periods of time--undoubtedly because the shades of blue were reminiscent of Cas’ eyes. For Dean to have left those behind…

Sam pulled out his cell phone and tried calling Dean, but wasn’t surprised to have it go straight to voicemail. He tried tracking Dean’s phone to no avail. He looked over everything remaining in Dean’s room, hoping to find a note of explanation, but there was nothing.

Growing angry, Sam knew there was only one person who might have some answers. He walked out of Dean’s room and over to Cas’ door and burst in without knocking. Cas scrambled upright in his bed and cast Sam a sleepy, confused look. “Sam?” he croaked out. “What are you doing?”

“What did you say to Dean?” Sam gritted out

Cas tilted his head before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “What do you mean?” he asked, seeming genuinely confused.

“Follow me,” Sam snapped, figuring that seeing would be better than explaining. He walked out of Cas’ room and into Dean’s, not even checking to see if Cas was following him. Cas appeared in Dean’s doorway a few seconds later, his eyes fixed on Sam.

“Take a look around,” Sam said, gesturing to the entirety of Dean’s room. Cas took a tentative step inside and blinked a couple of times, then looked at the empty brackets that had once held weapons and Dean’s mostly empty closet.

“I don’t understand,” Cas said. “Where are Dean’s belongings?”

“I’m assuming they’re with Dean.”

“Where’s Dean, then?”

Sam narrowed his eyes at Cas. “I have no idea. What did you say to him?”

Cas’ eyes went wide. “Do you believe I had something to do with this? Why?”

“Well,” Sam said bitterly, “he left behind an angel blade, his Purgatory blade, and two shirts the color of your eyes. Call it a wild guess.”

Cas remained standing, a dumbfounded look on his face. Sam stared at him, arms crossed in front of his chest, eyes narrowed. Sam had been all for giving Cas space to work out what had happened to him, but something had caused Dean to run, and he needed to know what.

After about a minute, Cas’ face suddenly crumpled. “I never meant for this to happen,” he sobbed out as tears flowed freely. He finally stepped into the room, made his way to Dean’s bed, and collapsed on the edge of it. Sam watched as Cas grasped Dean’s pillow and hugged it to his chest while burying his face in it. Cas started taking huge breaths, trying to get the crying under control.

All of the anger seeped out of Sam and he perched on the bed next to Cas. He tentatively wrapped an arm around Cas’ shoulders and let the man cry for a bit. Cas finally calmed down but refused to relinquish his hold on Dean’s pillow.

“Cas, why don’t you tell me everything--the Djinn Dream, and what happened yesterday. Dean wouldn’t tell me what he saw in the dream, but I’m starting to think it might be important.”

Cas started talking. He told Sam everything he could remember about the dream--about how tender Dean was with him, about how they were falling into a romantic relationship, and about the date the real Dean had interrupted. “Sam, this dream Dean danced with me, and then...then he...he kissed me. It felt wonderful, it felt like everything I’ve always wanted, but something just felt wrong. Things had been feeling wrong all along. Then we heard the sound of something breaking in the kitchen, so dream Dean went to investigate and the real Dean appeared behind me. He told me what was happening and that I needed to wake up.”

“And then you woke up?” Sam asked.

Cas shook his head. “Dean promised me that I could have what I had my dream...that we could have a relationship. I knew that if I stayed, nothing would ever feel ‘right’, so I chose to wake up.”

“Why did you turn away from Dean once you were awake?”

Cas sighed. “I didn’t know what was real anymore. In my dream, you had rescued me, and at first I was afraid this was another dream. I also realized that if it wasn’t a dream, then Dean had seen what I felt about him, and I was humiliated. I just couldn’t face him.”

Sam had figured this much out himself, so he nodded for Cas to continue, adding, “What happened last night?”

Cas’ eyes began to water again and he swallowed a couple of times before speaking. “Dean came to my room, and he was angry. He wanted me to look at him, and I knew in that moment that he was either going to ask me to leave the bunker or tell me that he had lied to me. So I tried to stop him.”

Sam had to fight the urge to slap Cas across the face. He knew exactly how Dean felt about Cas, and it was the complete opposite of what Cas had assumed.

“I decided that I wasn’t ready to let go of my dream. I wasn’t ready for Dean to ‘let me down gently’, so I lied and told him I had been attacked by a blue djinn.”

Sam’s mouth fell open. “You did what?”

Cas quickly plowed on, as though he were ripping off a bandage. “I told him that he had seen my worst nightmare. Dean concluded that my greatest fear was a relationship with him, and I let him believe that. He left my room and that was the last time I saw him.”

“Cas, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam exploded.

Cas began crying in earnest again and buried his face in Dean’s pillow again. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I thought I was telling Dean what he wanted to hear. I was trying to make it easier for both of us.”

Sam stood up and paced away from the bed, needing to put some physical distance between himself and Cas so he could calm down. He took a few deep breaths before looking back at the former angel. His anger melted away at the sheer misery on Cas’ face.

“Cas, you do realize that Dean is in love with you, right?” he asked.

“What?” Cas croaked.

“Yeah. He’s absolutely head-over-heels in love with you, you idiot.”

“That can’t be right,” Cas asserted. “He didn’t try to stop me the night I left.”

“He hasn’t stopped beating himself up about that night, Cas. He knows that Mom’s death wasn’t your fault. He was over-tired, angry, and grieving after she died. He shouldn’t have used you as a punching bag, and I know he regrets that he ever did. He probably came to your room last night to try to talk to you about it.”

“But why was he so angry, then?”

“Because you wouldn’t even look at him during dinner last night! I’m guessing you wouldn’t look at him when he came to your room, either?”

Cas shook his head no. Sam sighed. “Look, Cas, he was really hurt after you woke up and turned away from him. I told him to give you some time to adjust but we both know he isn’t terribly patient. If I know him, he was coming to apologize to you and talk to you about what he saw--and promised you--in the djinn dream. Now think about what you said.”

“I drove him away,” Cas said quietly. “Sam, how do I fix this? Please! I need to fix this!”

“All right, Cas, all right,” Sam said calmly in the face of Cas’ mounting anxiety. “I’ll start making some calls, and we’ll try to track him down. But you need to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“You fix this for good, and you don’t hurt him anymore, do you understand me? I love you like another brother, Cas, but if you destroy Dean again, I will destroy you.”

Cas gave Sam a solemn look. “I understand, Sam. If I hurt Dean again, I deserve to be destroyed.”

Sam nodded, clapped his hands together, and said, “All right, let me start making phone calls.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good thing they're friends with a sheriff or two.

Thirty minutes later, Cas was sitting at a table in the library, freshly showered with a cup of coffee, while Sam paced the floor behind him, talking on his cell phone. Eileen walked in with her own cup and cast a confused look at Cas, who could only shrug apologetically. He may have pulled himself together enough to shower and seek out caffeine, but he was a long way from a conversation.

“Well, the Hunter APB is out,” Sam concluded, setting his phone down on the table. He exchanged a soft grin with Eileen and signed to her that he would explain things later. “I think the next move would be to call Jody, who can put out a real APB.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Cas said quietly.

Sam stood and stared at him for a few moments, looking as though he wanted to say something, but then thought better of it. With a sigh, he picked up his phone once again and called Jody’s cell.

“Hey Sam, what’s up?” her cheery voice chirped through the phone. 

“Hi Jody. Calling in a huge favor. Dean decided to split late last night and his phone isn’t on.”

“What do you mean he ‘split’?” Jody asked, wariness creeping into her tone.

“I mean, he packed almost all of his shit and left.”

Jody was silent for a few moments before she said, “Sam? What’s going on?”

Sam gave Cas a pointed look, who only further hunched over his coffee. “It’s a long story. I think he’s okay, physically, but there was a major misunderstanding. Not with me. I don’t know why he’s shutting me out. Can you help us find him?”

“Yeah, I can put out an APB that he’s a person of interest in a murder investigation. That usually gets people’s attention. I’m assuming he’s driving the Impala?”

“I haven’t checked the garage, but that’s probably a safe assumption,” Sam replied.

“Any clue as to how far he could have gone? What direction?”

“Uhhhh...let me do some math and get back to you. Can you just...alert everyone?”

Jody laughed. “I’ll do my best, but you owe me the full story. Call me back when you have more.”

“Thanks, Jody.”

Sam hung up the phone and glanced over at Eileen, who understood the gist of what had happened from reading Sam’s lips. “What time did he leave?” she asked.

“He left my room a little after nine,” Cas said quietly. “I thought I heard him moving around at about eleven, but I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Ok, so let’s say eleven,” Sam said. “Can you two figure out a geographic radius of how far he could have gotten in nine hours? I’ll go check the garage.”

Naturally, Sam confirmed that Baby was gone. He trudged back into the library to find Cas and Eileen bent over a large road map with a couple of rulers and pencils. Within a few minutes, they had established a radius that went as far west as Grand Junction, CO, as far east as Decatur, IL. south into Texas, and north nearly to Fargo, ND. Sam studied the highways within the circle of interest, trying to figure out which direction Dean may go. He could see a relatively straight line between Lebanon and New York City, and he remembered how excited Dean had been to see the city when they were teenagers. While he wasn’t positive if that’s where Dean was headed, he thought it might make some sense--it was rather easy to go unnoticed in New York City.

Sam called Jody back and told her to focus on the area between Springfield, IL, and Indianapolis, IN, and continually move east on I-70 as the day wore on. Jody promised him that the APB went out countrywide, but she would reach out to larger local agencies in that area.

After hanging up with Jody, Sam tapped Cas on the shoulder and said, “All right, pack a bag.”

Cas turned to look at him, worry etched into his face. Sam suddenly realized what Cas must think. “We’re going to meet up with Jody. Relax, I’m not asking you to leave the bunker,” he said apologetically.

Cas nodded, but looked down at his hands before saying, “Sam...do you have any clothes I may borrow? I was going to ask Dean to borrow his...eventually...but now--”

“Yeah, Cas, I have something you can borrow. Once we’re in Sioux Falls, we’ll stop at a Wal-Mart or Target and get you something of your own. Just pack up whatever you can, I guess.”

Cas nodded and left, while Sam sat down and made sure that Eileen understood why they were leaving. She was welcome to come along, but Sam figured she would probably be bored--and he was right. Eileen was really enjoying the bunker’s library and asserted that she would be well occupied in their absence.

Fifteen minutes later, Cas was waiting in the garage as Sam said goodbye to Eileen. He meant to only give her a hug but she surprised him with a quick peck on the lips and a shy smile. He definitely didn’t blush a little.

Sam was about a half hour into the drive to Sioux Falls when Cas asked him if he would ever get his truck back from Cheyenne. Sam had a good chuckle over that and told him it wasn’t likely, but they could try to find something similar. Cas then said, “Sam, if we do manage to find Dean, how do I fix things with him?”

Sam kept his eyes on the road but said firmly, “You need to tell him the entire truth, Cas. I don’t care how scared you are that he might reject you. It’s a possibility, especially given how hurt he must feel. But lying to him more, or trying to manipulate things, is only going to make matters worse. If you care about him at all, you’ll be honest with him.”

Cas was silent for a few moments before saying, “I do care about him, Sam. I love him.”

Sam let a smile traverse his face before saying, “Then treat him like you do, Cas. He will probably be a dick to you at first--because let’s face it, it’s Dean--but he’ll come around if you show him that it’s safe to do so. Surely you understand what’s underneath the bravado, right?”

“I do,” Cas whispered. “I’m ashamed at myself for doubting what he told me.”

“I can understand that,” Sam said simply.

They didn’t talk for the remainder of the drive, and Sam stayed true to his word, stopping at a Target and helping Cas select some jeans, t-shirts, plaid flannels, socks, and boxer briefs. Just as they were leaving the store, Jody called Sam.

“We got lucky!” she exclaimed. “Locals spotted the car at a motel just outside of Indianapolis.”

“That’s great!” Sam said. “Cas and I are in your neck of the woods. What happens now?”

“Well, I told the Marion County Sheriff to have a couple of guys sit and watch the car to make sure it doesn’t go anywhere. They’re pretty sure Dean is in room 11. I told them not to arrest him, but when he tries to go somewhere, they need to stop him and call me directly. We’ll have a little chat.”

“Can we go get him?” Sam asked.

“You can come with me,” Jody said. “Since I made such a big deal about this, I better show up in person. Can you meet me at the station?”

“Yeah, no problem, we’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Thank you, Jody,” Sam said earnestly.

“Of course.”

Cas looked at Sam excitedly as Sam hung up with Jody. “They found him?”

“They found Baby, at least, and the motel he’s staying at. We can head there with Jody, so you have roughly eleven hours to figure out what you’re going to stay to Dean when we get there.”

Cas just nodded, a new look of determination on his face.

* * *

Dean was so tired that he was starting to fall asleep, so he’d found the first motel he could and crashed. It wasn’t until he woke up around 5:00 P.M that he realized he was hungry. He knew he was close to Indianapolis, so he figured he could just get back on the highway and stop at a fast food place or 24-hour diner.

Dean hadn’t bothered unpacking, but he removed a fresh change of clothes and some toiletries and braved the motel shower. It sure as hell wasn’t the bunker, which made him feel a bit of homesickness, but the memory of what had happened less than a day ago chased the nostalgia away. He toweled off, dressed, repacked his dirty clothes, and headed out the door.

As soon as he got to Baby’s trunk, he heard a voice yell, “Stop right there!” What the hell? From the tone he knew it was a cop’s voice, so he slowly put his bag down on the ground and turned around, hands up.

“What’s going on, Officer?” he asked casually.

“You’re wanted as a person of interest in South Dakota,” Barney Fife said. At least, that’s what Dean was calling him in his head. This guy looked like an old country bumpkin, but his partner was young and shrewd. Barney had a hand on his gun, acting like he was tough, but the kid was standing off to the side as though he was a spectator. Still, the kid was Sammy’s height and even more built, so Dean didn’t feel like messing with him.

“South Dakota?” Dean asked, honestly confused. He knew his record with the FBI was pretty spotty, but they hadn’t had legal troubles in a long time. “Where in South Dakota?”

“Sioux Falls.” Ah, the kid speaks. And Sioux Falls? Dammit, Sam.

“Oh, that’s right!” Barney said, turning towards the kid. “Do you have that sheriff lady’s number?” The kid just rolled his eyes and retrieved a cell phone from his pocket.

“The sheriff requested that we call her when you finally made a move,” Barney said, clearly trying to sound intimidating. Dean was just trying to suppress an eye roll.

“Sheriff Mills? Chapman here, Marion County Sheriff’s office. I have that POI you wanted to speak to here.”

The kid walked up to Dean without another word and shoved the phone at him. “Sheriff?” Dean asked innocently.

“Dean, do you have any idea how big of an asshole you are?” Jody said. She didn’t yell at him, and somehow, that made him feel worse. “Your family is worried sick about you. You just left, no note, no explanation, no cell phone. In your line of work, you can’t afford to pull that shit. How would you feel if Sam did something like that to you?”

Dean was immediately cowed. He knew he’d been a total dick. He hadn’t been thinking of anyone but himself. “I know,” he said weakly. He didn’t want to ruin the “POI” ruse as both cops were listening to him intently. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to stay put. I’m on my way. You can get food, run an errand or two, but you can’t leave in the Impala. And I just know you wouldn’t be cruel enough to jack a different car and take off, right?”

Dean swallowed. “Right. I promise.”

“Good. I should be there sometime in the morning. Don’t wait up.” Jody hung up with a click and Dean handed the phone back to the kid.

“So,” Dean said, clapping his hands together and faking enthusiasm, “looks like you guys get to babysit me even longer! Who wants to go get me dinner?”

* * *  
Dean woke the following morning after a restless night. He felt horribly guilty and had pulled his phone out several times, trying to force himself to turn it on and call Sam. He just couldn’t do it, but this time it was out of shame. He fully expected Jody to give him the verbal lashing he deserved, and then he’d let himself wallow in it by turning his phone on. 

He was idly channel surfing when a knock came at his door. He checked the peephole and despite his melancholy, he felt a small smile grace his lips when he spotted a harassed-looking Jody. He opened the door and gestured for her to come inside.

Once he’d closed the door, Jody gave him a swift punch to the right shoulder. He took it without a word. Jody stared at him for a few seconds before pulling him into her arms in a hug.

“You really scared us, Dean. Don’t ever do that again.”

“I’m sorry, Jody. I never meant to get you involved.” 

Jody pulled back from the hug and leveled a glare at him. “Oh my GOD, Dean, shut the hell up. I am not mad about getting involved. You are my family! I would die for you!”

Dean was stunned. He knew Jody cared about him, but this was unexpected.

“How can you be so damaged to think that no one would miss you or look for you?” she asked, pain for him evident in her voice. “You’re allowed to want some time to yourself, to check out of your life every once in awhile, but you can’t just go radio silent. Promise me you won’t pull this shit again.”

“I promise, Jody. I’m sorry. I never meant to worry you and Sammy.”

“Cas has been worried sick too, you know,” Jody added. 

Dean immediately stiffened and turned away from her. “I doubt that,” he said sadly.

Jody sighed. “Look, I’m not going to pretend to understand why you left, but based on that reaction, I’m going to guess there’s something going on with Cas. I’m truly sorry to hear that, because that angel of a man cares deeply for you.”

Dean just shook his head vehemently and fought the urge to plug his ears. “Jody, please, stop. I can’t talk about this. Please.”

“Ok, Dean. I’m sorry. At least consider talking to Sam. Give him a call, yeah?”

Dean turned back to face Jody. “I will,” he said. “As soon as I put some more miles on the road. I’ll turn my phone back on and call him.”

Jody didn’t look satisfied with this response, but nodded reluctantly. She pulled him in for another hug before saying, “By the way, if you do this again, I will have the local cops throw you in jail.” 

Dean laughed and turned his back to the door that Jody was now approaching so he could toss a couple of items in his duffel. He heard the door squeak as Jody opened it and then squeak shut, but it immediately squeaked open again. 

“Did you forget something?” Dean called out in a teasing voice without turning around.

“Hello, Dean.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean + Cas + Angst = Tears?

Jody had insisted on taking her sheriff’s vehicle and driving the first shift, so Castiel settled into the backseat. He was doing his best to remain quiet and give Jody a good first impression, seeing as though this was the first time he’d met her. That plan went out the window when Jody began asking Sam for details about why Dean left and Sam deferred to Castiel.

Castiel started to tell the tale, occasionally meeting Jody’s eyes in the rearview mirror. When he finished, Jody asked him point blank what he really wanted from Dean. 

“I don’t want anything from him,” Castiel said. “I want him to be happy. I want him to know how much he is loved. If this is something I am able to provide him, I would be very happy myself.”

Jody looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking again. “Here’s the thing, Cas. I know I just met you, and I’m here giving life advice to someone who was recently a light wave, so, you know, you don’t have to actually listen to me. But if there’s anything I know about making a relationship work, and about making another person happy, it’s that you have to be willing to actually be there. It seems to me that you and Dean do an awful lot of running away from each other, and there’s no way you two could ever be happy unless you start running away together.”

Castiel attempted to puzzle out her meaning, and Sam laughed when he saw the constipated look on his face. “I think what Jody is trying to say is that being in a room with you two is like being in a room with a gas leak. Everything is fine when it’s calm, but as soon as there’s a spark, one of you explodes.” This earned Sam a head-tilt, so he continued with, “I don’t mean literally, Cas. I mean that one of you gets angry with the other about something--sometimes small, sometimes big--and storms off in a huff. You can be gone for weeks at a time. Honestly, you two act like teenagers. If you want a real, human, adult relationship with Dean, you both need to stop the drama and have healthy communication.”

Castiel was starting to feel nervous. “I want that,” he said, “but I don’t know how to achieve it.”

Sam and Jody exchanged a grin as though they knew something Castiel didn’t, something the former angel found to be a bit annoying. 

“Honey, it’s not something that just appears overnight,” Jody said. “You and Dean will have to work at it if it’s what you really want. If there’s enough love between the two of you, though, I’m sure it’s something that will happen with time.”

Castiel sat and thought hard for awhile, a myriad of expressions crossing his face. Jody seemed to be concerned, because after a few minutes, she said, “Hey, what song did you dance to when you were with Dreamy Dean?” Sam was unable to stifle a snicker and Jody simply winked at Cas in the rearview mirror. 

“I believe it was something by Dean Martin,” Castiel replied, struggling to recall the title. He remembered it had an English title but Italian at the end...ah yes, “‘Return to Me’.”

Jody sighed wistfully while Sam turned to stare at Castiel, surprise on his face. “Really?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Wow,” Sam whispered. “It’s just...we have that on vinyl in the bunker, and Dean tends to listen to it whenever you’re gone for awhile. Interesting how that translated into the djinn dream.”

While Castiel found that curious, he was even more surprised to hear that Dean listened to such a lovely, heartrending song in his absence. 

“Sam? Can you show me how to listen to music on my phone?”

* * *  
“Hello, Dean.”

Dean froze as he felt the kick of adrenaline pump through his body. His stomach clenched while his heart skipped a beat. He had hoped to never hear that voice again, and yet, it sounded so achingly beautiful.

He fought for composure and said, without turning around, “What are you doing here, Castiel?”

“I’m here to bring you home,” came the soft reply. 

Dean finally turned at this point and immediately cursed in his head, because of course Cas had decided to put on the blue tee shirt and plaid flannel he had deliberately left behind. And of course, Cas looked amazing in them. Dean swallowed hard and attempted to hold his ground, saying, “Why the hell would you want to do that?” 

Cas flinched ever so slightly, but took a step closer to Dean. “I miss you,” he said quietly.

Dean wanted to melt at those words, and at the kicked puppy look on Cas’ face, but he felt wary. Heck, maybe he was the one dreaming now. “I find that hard to believe,” he snapped.

Up until that point, Cas had been maintaining eye contact with Dean, but at that statement, he bashfully looked at his hands for a moment before lifting his eyes back up to Dean’s. “Dean, there’s something you need to know.”

“I highly doubt that. Sorry, Castiel, but I don’t have a home to come back to, so it looks like you’re going back to the bunker alone. You shouldn’t have wasted the trip.” Dean picked up his two duffel bags and shouldered his way past Cas towards the door.

“I lied about the djinn.”

Dean stopped just in front of the door and turned around to face Cas again. “What?”

“I lied. It wasn’t a ‘blue djinn’. It was a perfectly ordinary djinn.”

Dean dropped his bags. He couldn’t believe he was hearing this. A part of him wanted to burst into happy tears, because maybe this meant he wasn’t Cas’ worst nightmare--but another, larger part of him felt hurt, betrayed, and angry. “So, what you’re saying…”

“I’m saying that everything you saw when you consumed the African Dream Root wasn’t my worst nightmare. It was the exact opposite. It was everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“Why?” Dean said. He expected it to come out as a shout, since he definitely felt like yelling, but instead it had a plaintive quality to it.

Cas looked pained. “Because when you came to my room the night you left, I thought you were there to ‘let me down gently’. I thought the time had come when you would tell me that you had lied to me in the dream and that we could never have what I desired so badly. I was afraid, so I tried to reject you before you could reject me. I was wrong, Dean. I am so sorry.”

Dean was feeling way too many emotions to think clearly, so he opted to just speak and hope that the right words came out. “How do I know you’re not lying now?” he demanded. Oops, he thought, that probably wasn’t a good thing to say.

And yet...Cas didn’t look surprised by the question. “You can call Sam and ask him what he saw when he fought with the djinn. The djinn’s eyes didn’t glow blue when it attacked, and I did not have a distinctive blue handprint which you have seen in the past.”

“I figured your grace took care of it,” Dean muttered. He took a breath before continuing. “So what, I’m just supposed to forgive and forget? Act like this is all water under the bridge? Well guess what, Castiel? I can’t do that, okay? Every time I feel like things are good between us, they all go to shit again! You said it yourself before you woke up--there are a lot of things wrong between us. I used to think that if we had enough time, and if you just fucking stayed put, we could work out anything. That was such a stupid, naive thought. I just--I can’t. I can’t do this.” The words came tumbling from Dean’s mouth without thought, and he felt a lump growing in his throat. He had to get away from Cas. 

As Dean turned to pick up his bags once again, Cas started to say, “Dean, I--”

“Stop, Castiel. Just stop.”

Dean squared his shoulders and took another step towards the door but was surprised to hear an upwelling of music followed by a man crooning, “Return to me…”

Dean was unable to actually open the motel room door. He stood still, facing it, letting the words crash over him. Once the words “My darling, if I hurt you, I’m sorry, forgive me and please say you are mine,” had been sung, Dean found himself dropping the bags and turning to face Cas once again.

Cas was standing, holding his phone out towards Dean, a forlorn expression on his face and tears on his cheeks. Dean caught his eyes and felt all of his resistance melt away, something he’d only thought possible in movies. When the song switched over to Italian, Dean was done for. He strode forward and grasped Cas’ cheeks, resting their foreheads together.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, then finally, FINALLY pressed a gentle kiss to Cas’ lips.

Cas kissed Dean back ever-so-softly, but Dean backed away before it could deepen. He looked into Cas’ watery eyes and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that were still falling. 

“Cas, I’m sorry,” Dean said. “I forgive you. I understand why you did it--I had been a total jerk to you, making you want to leave, and I am so, so sorry for that. I should have never blamed you for what happened. So, if you can forgive me for that, I can forgive you.”

“I can do that,” Cas said hoarsely. “Dean, I’m not going to run anymore. I’ll stay. Even if you don’t want me--I am yours.”

Dean released a sob and removed his hands from Cas’ face so that he could wrap his arms around Cas. Cas let his phone drop to the floor so he could embrace Dean in return and buried his face into Dean’s shoulder. “Solo tu, solo tu, solo tu, mio cuore,” Cas whispered after a few minutes of holding each other.

Dean took a step back and managed a trembling smile. “What does that mean?”

“Only you, only you, only you, my heart.”

Dean stared deeply into Cas’ eyes, finally seeing the truth behind his words, and was stunned to say the least. Yet somehow he managed to open his mouth (once again without a thought) to say, “Ti amo.”

Cas’ eyes went wide and before Dean could second guess what he’d just blurted out (oh, he knew damn well what he said...he just hadn’t really meant to say it, in English or Italian), Cas was kissing him breathless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first time I ever heard "Return to Me", it was in the identically named movie, sung by Joey Gian. I love that version, even more than the original, so for me, I had Cas download that version to play for Dean. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some smut!

When Cas finally released Dean from the intense kiss, he breathed out, “Olani hoath ol.” Dean raised an eyebrow despite being fairly certain of what Cas was saying. “I love you,” Cas affirmed. “I have for longer than I can remember, Dean.”

Dean smiled and pressed a light kiss to Cas’ lips. “I can’t believe it took us so long to get here,” he said. “I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t,” Cas said firmly. “All that matters is that we did get here, and that we’re willing to fight for each other. Is that what you want?”

“More than anything.”

Dean captured Cas’ bottom lip between his own and initiated their most passionate kiss yet as he slowly worked his tongue into Cas’ willing mouth. Dean couldn’t estimate how long they stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms with tongues entwined, but he never wanted it to end. Eventually he realized he was starting to feel aroused and tried to shift his hips away from Cas in embarrassment. Cas noticed the movement and broke the kiss to tilt his head at Dean in confusion.

“Umm…” was all Dean could manage as he turned bright pink and looked down at his crotch. Naturally, this drew Cas’ attention and his eyes went wide upon seeing the bulge in Dean’s jeans. Dean was about to take a couple more steps back when Cas pulled them flush against each other. Dean opened his mouth to protest when Cas lightly ground his hips against Dean, allowing Dean to feel Cas’ own erection.

Dean looked into Cas’ eyes as Cas said, “You’re not alone, Dean. I want you as well.”

“Shit, Cas,” Dean choked out. “You need to stop me when it’s too much, okay?”

“I don’t see how that would be possible,” Cas said softly as he ran his hands up and down Dean’s back, “but if it makes you feel better to hear it, then yes, I will.”

Dean groaned and slid his hands down to Cas’ hips, then nipped at the man’s lips before moving on to his neck. Cas tipped his head back to give Dean access and let out a contented sigh as Dean pressed soft kisses between his jaw and collarbone.

Cas found himself flashing back to the Djinn dream and realized that what was happening right now felt so right, so perfect, whereas the kiss he’d shared with Dream Dean had been nice but somehow wrong. Feeling relieved and emboldened by the fact that this wasn’t a dream, Cas slid his hands under both of Dean’s shirts to touch hot flesh. Dean moaned and proceeded to suck marks all along Cas’ collarbone.

By silent agreement, they slowly removed their shirts, shoes, and socks before settling on the bed. Cas hovered over Dean, leaving feather-light kisses on Dean’s neck and collarbone before moving to his chest. As Cas sucked a nipple into his mouth, Dean arched up and grabbed handfuls of Cas’ perfect ass.

“You like that?” Cas asked, a mischievous tone to his voice.

“What do you think?” 

Cas grinned and continued to work Dean’s nipples, lightly sucking them, flicking them with his tongue, or dragging his teeth across them. After several minutes, Dean was panting hard and had taken to chanting Cas’ name.

Cas finally pulled off of Dean to stand up, then slowly undid his belt while Dean watched with lust-filled eyes. Cas then flipped the button on his jeans and pulled down the zipper as Dean’s hands strayed to his own button. Cas saw what he was trying to do and smacked his hand away. “That’s my job,” he said lowly.

Dean simply groaned and balled his hands into fists to keep from touching himself as he continued to watch Cas strip. The former angel lowered the jeans to just below his hips, allowing Dean to see that he was wearing gray boxer briefs. Then, with a devious smirk on his face, Cas pulled off both the jeans and the briefs. 

He stood before Dean, completely nude, and looking a little nervous. Dean’s mouth was hanging open as he took in the masterpiece before him. Cas was well-muscled and thick in all the right places. His dick was making Dean salivate--long, thick, and cut, it jutted out and glistened at the tip.

“Cas. You’re...you’re gorgeous,” Dean choked. He knew it was weak, because he didn’t think there was a word that could adequately describe how unbelievably amazing he thought Cas looked. Dean held up his arms to encourage Cas to rejoin him on the bed and fixed the man with the best smoldering look he could muster.

Cas smiled and partially complied with Dean’s unspoken request, regaining his confidence from Dean’s words. Rather than climbing back on the bed, he thumbed the button on Dean’s pants and drew down the zipper. Dean lifted himself off the bed so Cas could pull the pants down and completely off.

“You can take these too, Cas,” Dean said, gesturing towards his ridiculously tented boxers. Cas grinned and removed them as well, sucking in air as he beheld the gorgeous man sprawled out on the bed.

Cas reverently ran his hands up and down Dean’s body, avoiding the crotch, much to Dean’s frustration. Dean twitched and groaned at Cas’ touch and finally began to plead, “Please, Cas. Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please get back on this bed and touch me like you mean it.”

Cas growled and clambered back on top of Dean, kissing him deeply and thrusting his dick against Dean’s. Dean reached down and wrapped a hand around both of them, prompting Cas to groan.

“Dean, Dean, please.”

“Please what?” Dean asked with a smirk as he slowly jacked them both.

“Please, I want you, want you so badly.”

“How do you want me?”

“Inside,” Cas choked out. Dean marveled again at the absolute vision that was above him--Cas, eyes shut in ecstasy, gorgeous body slicked with sweat as he moved within the channel of Dean’s fist.

“That sounds incredible,” Dean said, “but I’m not going to last long enough. Next time, okay?”

Cas’ eyes flew open and he stared into Dean’s. “Promise.”

“I promise,” Dean said. “Now how about giving me a hand here--literally.”

Cas supported most of his weight with his right hand and snaked his left between them to join with Dean’s. Between the two of them, they could grip tightly and work up a fast pace. Cas became more vocal as he approached his climax, calling out Dean’s name with increasing volume, finally coming with a cry of “Oh, fuck, Dean!”

The profanity falling from Cas’ lips, Cas’ o-face, and the pulsing of Cas’ dick all pushed Dean over the edge and he came with a wordless shout. They held each other as they came down from the endorphin rush before Cas slipped off of Dean and onto his side. Dean was covered in spunk from both of them but was too blissed-out to move. Cas managed to catch his breath and went into the bathroom to wet a washcloth. He cleaned Dean up gently before tossing the cloth to the ground and resumed his place at Dean’s side.

Dean slung an arm around Cas and pulled him closer so that Cas could rest his head on Dean’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” Dean said quietly, feeling a sense of calm and peace settle over him when he said it.

Cas planted a kiss to Dean’s neck, saying, “And I love you.”

The two were silent for a few moments until Cas spoke. “Dean, does this mean we’re in a romantic relationship now?”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, Cas, if you want to be.”

“I do. Very much. But there was something Jody said on the way here that I think we need to talk about.”

Dean turned onto his side so that he could look Cas in the eye. He nodded for Cas to continue while he slowly trailed his fingers up and down Cas’ arm.

“Jody said that we have to stop running away from each other. I have already promised you that I won’t leave anymore, but you can’t leave either, Dean.”

Dean had the grace to look embarrassed at that. “I know, Cas. I shouldn’t have done that, and I’m sorry that I worried all of you.”

“It’s okay, Dean. I drove you away. I don’t want to dwell on that anymore. I just don’t want this to become something that happens every time we have a disagreement.”

Dean looked thoughtful. “I understand that,” he said. “However, a lot of the time when I argue with someone, I need some time to myself to cool down. Driving Baby is good for that. I don’t want to just take off in her, though, and make you think I’m not coming back.”

The men were silent for a few moments before Cas spoke again. “Would you be willing to go for a walk instead?”

Dean considered it. He didn’t like the idea of changing who he was to please someone else--that hadn’t worked with Lisa and was a large reason why they ultimately would have gone their separate ways regardless of whether or not Sam returned. Then he realized that Cas wasn’t asking him to change--he was asking Dean to compromise. 

“I can do that,” Dean said. “Let’s make a deal, okay? How about anytime we have an argument and we need some space, we’ll leave our car keys in a central location and take separate walks. Once we’ve calmed down, we can meet back at the keys and talk.”

Cas’ face lit up. “I like that. Except...I don’t have a car.”

Dean laughed. “Don’t worry, we’ll find you one. Until then, we’ll use something symbolic. Maybe your trench coat?”

Cas’ face fell. “I thought it was ruined.”

Dean smiled warmly and kissed Cas lightly--he couldn’t help it, his angel (yes, Cas would always be his angel) was so damn cute. “I got the stains out. It’s back at the bunker.”

Cas’ eyes went wide. “You cleaned it for me? Even when I was treating you like...excrement?”

“Of course I did. I love you. I love that coat, too. I wanted it to be nice and clean for you.”

Cas stared at Dean for a few seconds more before pulling Dean on top of him, kissing him fervently. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ body and kissed him back with equal ardor. 

Dean knew he didn’t have the stamina that he’d had ten years earlier, so he was surprised when he felt another erection stirring to life after kissing Cas for a few minutes. He recognized the answering hardness against his thigh, which only fueled his arousal. He pulled away from Cas to look into his angel’s eyes and could see that they were glazed with lust.

“Do you want me to fulfill my promise?” Dean asked huskily. Cas nodded enthusiastically.

“Be right back,” Dean said before scrambling out of the bed and to his duffel. Thankfully he always kept his lube in the same pocket, so it was easy enough to find. Dean placed the lube on the nightstand and climbed back into bed onto a now supine Cas.

Dean took his time, worshipping Cas’ body much as Cas had worshipped his earlier. He catalogued the spots that drew sighs and groans from Cas, and by the time he had applied lube to his index finger and began circling Cas’ hole, the former angel was fidgeting and panting.

Dean paused and said softly, “Cas, look at me.” Cas complied, locking eyes with him. “If this feels uncomfortable or painful, and you want to stop, just tell me. I’m not going to love you any less. You know that, right?”

Cas gave him a radiant smile. “I know, Dean.”

Dean smiled and slowly pushed in the index finger, gently thrusting it in and out a few times. He kept his other hand wrapped around Cas’ dick, stroking it just enough to keep Cas aroused but not enough for him to climax. When Cas began thrusting down on Dean’s finger, he slicked up another and slowly inserted it as well.

Cas looked a little uncomfortable until Dean crooked both fingers and found Cas’ prostate. Cas arched his back with a shout and looked at Dean. “What was that?” he asked.

Dean snickered. “Your prostate.”

“Of course,” Cas breathed. “Do that again. Now.”

Dean outright laughed, but stroked a couple of more times. Cas groaned deeply as precum welled out of his dick.

“More, Dean. More.”

“All right, all right,” Dean said, a teasing tone in his voice. He may have sounded cool and collected but his erection was becoming painful the more he longed to plunge into Cas. He slicked up a third finger with a shaking hand and twisted it into Cas, prompting a very loud groan from the writhing man.

“Cas? You okay?”

“Very, Dean,” Cas panted as he pushed himself onto Dean’s fingers. Dean took care to stretch him and stroked his prostate a couple more times before Cas was practically whining.

Dean paused before pulling his fingers out. “Cas, I know I’m clean, but it’s your decision if you want me to wear a condom. You’re human now and you can’t just blink away STDs.”

Cas looked at him and said, “I have no intention of being with anyone but you for the rest of my life. I don’t need you to wear a condom. You should only wear one if you so choose.”

Dean heard the unasked question in Cas’ words. He looked down at the beautiful, flushed former angel beneath him and said, “Nope, I don’t need it,” before flashing a grin full of happiness. 

Cas gave him one of the biggest smiles Dean had ever seen before saying, “Dean? Why have you stopped?”

Dean laughed before pulling out his fingers, which earned a mournful whine from Cas. “Just a minute,” Dean said, before lubing up his throbbing erection. 

“This is probably going to hurt at first,” Dean said as he carefully lined himself up. “Just bear down and hold on for a couple of minutes, okay?” Cas nodded and Dean slowly pushed through the ring of muscles, fighting for control as he felt the tight heat envelop him.

Dean was about halfway sheathed when he stopped and looked at Cas’ face. Cas’ eyes were closed and his breathing heavy. Dean placed his arms on either side of Cas’ head and began to gently kiss his face. “You okay?” he asked.

Cas’ eyes flew open. “Yes,” he choked out. “Why did you stop?”

Dean smiled and smoothly pushed in the rest of the way, bottoming out with a satisfied grunt. He held still, kissing Cas filthily. Cas responded by grabbing Dean’s hips and trying to move the hunter himself. Dean released a laugh into Cas’ mouth and pulled out halfway before thrusting back in.

Dean started slowly but after a few thrusts, he sped up the pace, pulling most of the way out and slamming back in as Cas showed he could take it. He had lifted Cas’ legs to drape over his shoulders in the hopes of finding his angel’s prostate once again. When Cas cried out after several thrusts, Dean knew he’d struck gold, and proceeded to punish that spot.

“Oh, Dean! DEAN!” Cas screamed as Dean thrust particularly hard, prompting Cas to orgasm untouched. Dean had vaguely heard Cas screaming, along with the rhythmic thumping of the headboard against the wall, as he neared his own climax. Just as Cas was starting to come down, Dean peaked, yelling Cas’s name loudly.

Ignoring the mess on Cas’ torso, Dean rested his face against Cas’ chest while he caught his breath. He could feel Cas playing with his hair and looked up after a few moments to see tears falling from his angel’s eyes. Concerned, Dean pulled out of Cas and rolled onto his side so he could gather Cas against him.

“Hey, Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

Cas buried his face in Dean’s chest before answering, “Nothing, Dean. I’m simply overwhelmed with happiness.”

Dean smiled and pressed a gentle kiss into Cas’ hair. “Me too, Cas. Me too.”

* * *  
Jody shot a dubious look at Sam, who despite having earbuds in, had a disgusted look on his face.

“I’m...impressed,” Jody said. When Sam gave her a confused look, she said, “the stamina these two have.”

Sam groaned and buried his head in his hands. “I told you we shouldn’t have gotten the room next door,” he grumbled.


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later. This is all very fluffy.

Six Months Later

“Today’s the day, Sammy,” Dean said, voice full of bravado as he placed an egg-white omelette in front of his brother. 

“What day is that, Dean?” Sam asked, genuinely confused. Things had been relatively quiet lately--they had dealt with their usual spate of monsters, but Chuck had been mysteriously M.I.A. for a couple of months now. They had just returned from a hunt two days ago and Sam wasn’t aware of any new hunts on the horizon.

Dean reached a hand into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet jewelry box before opening it with a slightly shaking hand. Sam peered inside to see a silver ring accented with a stripe of cerulean blue. 

“Is that what I think it is?” Sam asked.

Dean examined the ring himself before shutting the box with a snap. “What do you think it is?” he countered.

Sam shot Dean Bitchface #5 before answering, “An engagement ring, Dean,” with an exasperated tone.

Dean paled before nodding.

“Holy shit, really? Dean! That’s incredible! He’s going to love it!”

Dean’s expression turned to one of cautious relief. “Do you really think so? Do you think he’ll say yes?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I don’t think he’ll be able to say it fast enough,” he said.

Dean gulped but nodded. “I have no idea how to do this,” he admitted sheepishly.

“It’s Cas,” Sam said gently. “You just have to ask. He doesn’t need anything special.”

“No, but he deserves it.”

Sam stood up and came to stand right in front of his brother. “Dean, it will be your words that matter to him more than anything. Focus on that and the rest will fall into place. Now give me a hug, Jerk.”

Dean smiled and gave Sam a quick hug before leaving the kitchen for points unknown. Sam was halfway through his delicious omelette when Cas came in, his eyes searching.  
“Sam, do you know where Dean is?”

Sam smiled. “Good morning to you too, Cas. No, I don’t.”

“Sorry, Sam. Good morning. I was hoping to ask you a question.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I know that it’s traditional to ask your beloved’s father or parents for permission to marry,” Cas started, running a hand on the back of his neck nervously. “But since neither Mary or John are alive, I was hoping I could ask you.”

Sam was stunned. What were the odds that Cas and Dean would want to propose to each other at the same time? He knew he needed to tread carefully.

“You’re asking me for permission to marry Dean?” Sam asked. Cas nodded, a smile spreading across his face. Sam chuckled. “Of course you have my blessing Cas, but you don’t need it. Dean’s his own man.”

“I know,” Cas said quickly. “I just wanted to do this right, and everything I read indicated that family members appreciate this gesture despite its antiquated origin.”

“Well, it’s true, I do appreciate it,” Sam said, gently patting one of the hands that Cas had rested on the table in front of him. “Do you have a ring?”

“No, I don’t. Would you be able to help me if it’s not too much trouble?”

Cas was giving Sam an earnest, hopeful look that had Sam feeling like an asshole for what he was about to say. “I’d be happy to help, Cas, but I can’t today. I have to meet up with Eileen--she needs some help on the case she’s working.”

Cas looked crestfallen, so Sam continued, “As soon as I’m back though, we’ll go find something that’s perfect, okay?” If things went as Sam knew they would, he could take Cas shopping for Dean’s wedding ring. Eileen didn’t need his help, but he was going to make himself scarce until Dean could propose.

Cas gave Sam a grateful smile and said, “Thank you, Sam, that would be very nice. I had hoped to find one today since it’s our six-month anniversary, but I doubt Dean remembers that. I’ll ask him a different time.”

Sam once again felt a pang of regret, but it was quickly replaced with giddiness at the fact that Dean seemed to have remembered the date. He finished his omelette quickly and stood up, motioning for Cas to do the same. Once Cas was standing, Sam pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry that the timing won’t work, Cas, but I’m sure when you do ask it will be perfect. I’m really happy for you both.” 

After pulling back from the hug, he told Cas a bit about the case Eileen was on before he left the former angel in the kitchen and went to look for Dean. He found his brother in the bunker’s garage, fine-tuning Baby.

“Dean? I’m going to head into town and get a room for the night. Just let me pack my things.”

Dean shot him a quizzical look. “Listen,” Sam said sternly, “you need to ask him tonight. I know you, if you wait too long, you’ll chicken out. So I’m clearing out and giving you space. Text me when he says ‘yes’.”

Dean’s confused look gave way to one of slight panic. Sam sighed and stepped forward and pulled his brother into another hug. “You got this, Dean.”

Dean pulled back, a more determined look on his face, and nodded. “Thanks, Sammy.” Sam nodded and headed back into the bunker to pack.

Dean wracked his brain while he continued to tinker with Baby. He had some ideas of how to do this but kept rejecting each one. He had decided that he wanted to stay at the bunker because it was comfortable. He thought about making a steak dinner but quickly flashed to Cas’ Djinn dream. Thus far, he had successfully avoided recreating what he’d witnessed, not because Cas didn’t want him to, but because he thought he’d never live up to the expectation.

He decided upon making gourmet burgers and seeing where things went from there. He could always suggest a movie or dancing and see what Cas felt like doing. Having made his mind up, he cleaned up his tools and made sure that Baby was set to rights. He found Cas researching in the library when he re-entered the bunker, and stopped to press a quick kiss to the man’s temple before heading to shower.

Dean then checked to make sure he had the ingredients he needed--ground beef, cheese, potatoes--even a bottle of Moscato that Cas had taken a liking to after falling. After killing a couple of hours sitting with Cas in the library, he started to prepare dinner. He methodically peeled and cut the potatoes into strips to make fries before hand-packing beef patties with cheese in the middle.

Dinner was nearly finished by the time Cas followed the scent of food into the kitchen. He was a bit taken aback by the neatly set table and wine chilling in a bucket of ice. “Dean? What is this?”

Dean turned and smiled. “It’s our six-month anniversary, Sweetheart. Have a seat, it’s almost ready.”

Cas felt warmed from the inside out. Dean had remembered. He sat in front of one of the place settings and contentedly watched Dean pull the potatoes out of the oven and season them before adding some to each plate.

Dean placed the plates on the table, then hastened to open the wine and pour it. “I don’t suppose this actually pairs well with burgers,” he mused, feeling a bit ridiculous. “But I know it’s your favorite.”

Cas flashed him a broad grin. “It’s perfect,” he said.

Cas made the usual obscene noises as he devoured Dean’s cooking, but Dean could barely taste it. He was too busy staring at the abject loveliness in front of him. When Cas finished eating, he finally seemed to have noticed Dean’s behavior, as he said, “Dean? Is something wrong? You’ve been very quiet.”

Dean immediately saw the worry in Cas’ eyes and felt terribly. That was the last thing he wanted. Things had been great between them--they’d been much better at communicating with each other, and they followed their “key rule” religiously, only having ever resorted to using it twice. 

“Cas, nothing’s wrong. Everything’s great. In fact,” Dean trailed off, pushing himself to his feet. It was now or never. He took a step closer to Cas and reached into his pocket, pulling out the velvet box. In one fluid movement, he’d knelt on his right knee and opened the box, presenting it to Cas. “Castiel, I love you more than I could ever imagine loving someone. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what comes. Will you marry me?”

Cas could only nod at first as he felt his eyes flood with tears. Then he choked out a tremulous, “Yes, Dean. Yes!”

Dean couldn’t help himself--he giggled. He pulled the ring from the box, casting the box aside, and grasped Cas’ left hand. He looked to Cas for permission and his angel nodded, his free hand coming up to grasp Dean’s shoulder. Dean slid on the ring and admired it for a moment before standing and pulling Cas up with him.

Cas kissed him enthusiastically while tears ran down his face. “I’m sorry,” Cas said after pulling back. “I can’t seem to stop. I’m too happy.”

Dean felt tears of his own starting to form in his eyes as he pulled Cas flush against him. “Don’t apologize, Sweetheart.”

“I love you, Dean. I love this ring. It’s beautiful.”

“I love you too, Cas.”

They stood, holding each other and letting the tears flow, for a few moments before Cas pulled back with a gasp.

“What is it?” 

“Sam was supposed to take me ring shopping when he got home!” Cas exclaimed.

“What?”

Cas started laughing and kissed Dean again. “I’ll tell you all about it later. Right now, I would very much like to make love to you.”

Dean grinned. “That can be arranged.”

* * *  
Sam was video-chatting with Eileen when he heard the text alert on his phone. He cast an excited look at Eileen who asked, “Is it them?” with a grin. As soon as Sam had checked into his motel room, he had texted Eileen to tell her about his idiot brothers wanting to propose to one another.

Sam picked up his phone and read the message from Cas out loud for Eileen’s benefit. “Hi Sam--thank you for doing what you did so Dean could ask me to marry him. It was better than anything I could have dreamed.” Sam then held up the phone so Eileen could see the picture that Cas had attached of his engagement ring.

Eileen wasn’t usually mushy, but even she visibly melted at the sight. “That’s great,” she said, her voice slightly choked.

“It really is,” Sam said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this to the end! I don't know what's in store for our boys and Eileen as this final season progresses, but the romantic in me can always hope that at least some of them are happy in the end...right? :)


End file.
